Greedy Grandma Syndrome

Greedy grandma and her sweet faraway grandbaby 

Right when I'm done here I'm off to the grocery store - but I've got a couple minutes and some coffee in one of my favorite mugs, and I've got something to say:  I LOVE being Mom but being a Grandma - that's what I'm having a hard time with - a really hard time. 

I suspect most Grandmas who live far from their grandchildren feel the same exact way.  In my case, my heart actually aches on account of this - I mean I can feel it hurting deep inside - that sounds all dramatic and medical and what not - but it's the truth.  Not seeing my only grandbaby and not lifting her up in the swing and giving her a little push or handing her the bananas to put in the grocery cart or changing her or reading her books or baking cookies with her or stomping around in mud after a good rain or dancing with her in the family room on a Wednesday morning just because - not being able to do those and a million other daily things - that's what I'm grumbling about. 

I just absolutely, beyond what may be considered reasonable, love the dailiness and the work and the hands-on-help kind of life.  Being a "visit" Grandma - I don't love that - I'm terrible at it.  Helping babies, toddlers, children, adolescents every day in very useful and simple ways - and some complicated ways too - for the past 31 years that's what I know and love with all my heart.  But this every once in awhile "visit" business where the visits are few and far between and blink-of-an-eye brief - not good, not now - not at 57 years old - maybe at 157 years old.  Maybe.

I'm not positive but that just might put me smack dab in the greedy-middle-aged-lady category: I mean, c'mon - I have six children - four in the grown-on-their-own-out-in-the-world-doing-wonderful-things-serving-those-in-need category and then my two special needs teenagers, Steve and Tom, in the at-home-and-doing-well category  - yet - I want more.  Or rather less - as in less distance, 1000 or so miles ought to do it - between my grandbaby and me.  That way I could scoop that sweet little girl up right now and take her to the grocery store so she could put bananas in the cart and then we'd return to Grandma's house to dance in the family room a bit.  And then, I don't know, maybe we'd even make some cookies.  Hmm...that would be great.

Okay, coffee's gone so off to the store I go.

Til next time, take care and God bless.